Build your Relationships!

We all have a lot of things on our daily to-do lists. But we really need to work on the things that actually make a difference.

I’m talking about finding the time to improve our relationships, to say something nice to our loved ones, to ask them about their day, and listen to them with a smile on our face. Take the time to remember how you first felt when you fell in love. 

We all know we should be doing that, but with everything going on throughout the busy day, we come home exhausted and just want some time for ourselves. Unfortunately, if we let things be like that, it soon becomes a habit. We may not notice that right away, but the ones closest to us do. They may even be hurt by the lack of attention.

That’s why you should start doing something small daily to remind them that you’re here and you still care, even though you’re busy.

Here are some little things to do daily to renew your relationships:

1. Practice random acts of kindness to remind people that they are loved.

It may be a small gift every now and then, an unexpected call at work, preparing a meal when they don’t feel well, or doing most of the work at home so that they can relax.  I  send messages and notes to friends whom I have not spoken to in a while, just to see how they are doing.

All these seemingly small things can make someone’s day. The most important thing is that they are random. The other person doesn’t expect them. Furthermore, once it happens, they see you’ve been thinking about them and are doing something special, even though you don’t need to.

In the long-term that can keep a relationship alive, or even renew an existing one.

2. Be a good listener.

We speak too much and listen too little these days. Most of all, we crave to be heard.

To overcome this, sit down every day for 10-20 minutes and pay your whole attention to what the other person has to say. Don’t interrupt. Don’t try to express opinion or talk about yourself, simply listen and try to read between the lines.

You may ask questions to make him feel comfortable, so they can share what’s on their mind. Once they start talking, let go of anything else that distracts you and focus on their words.

For me, this is always during meal times. My wife and I have a rule where we put away our phones when we eat so we can concentrate on each other. It takes no time at all, but can become a powerful ritual of connection and compassion. Accordingly, your relationship will thrive.

3. Don’t judge and criticize loved ones during the short time you spend together daily.

It’s easy to constantly criticize people, expect more from them, and judge everything they do; however, it’s also completely wrong. To make matters worse, someone usually gets hurt in the process.

Instead, accept them for who they are. We’re talking about people you love here, so there are many reasons to appreciate them. You’ve chosen to be a big part of each other’s lives, so remind yourself of the main reasons more often.

Soon you’ll stop judging these people, and will be grateful for having them around instead. They will feel loved and more comfortable being themselves around you. This makes your relationships grow stronger over time.

I have a number of friends who consistently do things which I find incredibly silly or self-destructive. I have long decided to accept them for their faults and just be there to support them when they need it. This has made it a lot easier for me to let go of my frustrations and just enjoy their company instead.

4. Establish traditions and make them a priority.

If you want to make your relationship with someone you love new every day, but are really busy, create a tradition. It means making time for a conversation, or a meal, or to gather with friends in the evening. It could be anything.

Start with once a week, if you can’t make time daily, but stick to it. Make it your top priority. Once you see how beneficial it is to the relationship, you’ll see it’s worth finding time for it each day.

5. Be completely honest with the other person.

It’s important to say everything as it is. If you see that things between you are going in the wrong direction, talk about it. Say it directly. Also, share the fact that you don’t make enough time for that person and feel bad about it. This way they will see you still care and are ready to make changes.

If you never talk about it, they may think you haven’t even noticed that things are bad and don’t care. That may mean losing the person without realizing, only because you haven’t been honest and they have moved on without you. Don’t let that happen.

My wife and I have agreed that we will always be truthful with each other, even if it means letting each other know that the other party looks fat in that new pair of jeans. It helps so we don’t go out looking like crap!

Conclusion

No matter how busy you are, make some time daily to renew your relationships. Hopefully, with these tips you can improve your relationships and live an even happier life.

20 Habits That Will Make You Highly Successful

1. Don’t define success with a dollar amount, but in relation to your happiness.

The habit of defining success with a dollar amount will lead you to constantly chasing a higher price point. It’s a chase that will never end, and a view of success that will never be attained. Get in the habit of seeing your success and your happiness in the same light.

2. Read before you write or work.

Reading a good book will get the creative juices flowing, the brain learning, and your knowledge base growing. Try reading for 30 minutes to start your day.

3. Wake up at the same time everyday.

Having a good sleep routine will help you have more energy to do more work during the day.

4. Always finish your to do list.

Get in the habit of never leaving anything that you wanted to finish at the beginning of the day, incomplete at the end. If you simply do what you set out to do, it will be hard for success to elude you.

5. Keep your to do list small and scaled.

Have 1 or 2 things that are important to finish, and make sure you finish them first. The rest of your tasks should be tended to only after your most important ones have been completed.

6. Keep two journals; one for your planning, scheduling, and work.

The other for your big ideas, thoughts, and goals. Writing stuff down makes it real and tangible. A to do list, a goal, or a dream, that isn’t written down isn’t yet real.

7. Measure everything.

Every goal you set needs to be measured. Every sales page you create, needs to be measured. If you measure everything you’ll have a blueprint for exactly what does work, and what doesn’t.

8. Stick to 90-minute work sessions.

Few people actually work as much as they say they work. Their time is usually made up of distractions. They Facebook, Tweet, and surf the interwebz. Time your work sessions. Keep a stopwatch. Focus for 90-minutes, take an active break, then get back to the beautiful grind.

9. Take active breaks.

A work break should enhance your working experience. It can’t – at all costs – take away from it. So do something active that will get your blood pumping and your mind working as effectively as it was when you first started working in the wee hours of the morning.

10. Wake up early.

The list of successful people who wake up before the rest of the world is far too long to list. This isn’t a coincidence. Get up before 6 am, 7 days a week and get a head start on your day and your dream.

11. Put your family first.

Success can’t exist without family – even if that “family” is simply loved ones and friends. You need to be working for a greater purpose than your own monitory gain if you’re going to accomplish truesuccess.

12. Work harder than your competition.

If you work harder than everyone else, success can’t hide from you. You will find it. And you willenjoy it.

13. Use a board.

Use a big white board to keep your goals visible and close.

14. Share your dream.

Get in the habit of talking to others who have a similar dream, even if the similarity is the enormity of your goals, and the audaciousness of your plans. Napoleon Hill coined this relationship “a mastermind”, and it’s one of the most important factors in your eventual success.

15. Only surround yourself with successful people.

That is, don’t have “suckers” in your midst – people who will tear you away from your work, and destroy your dream. If you have friends that do this, stop hanging out with them. Are they worth you living a mediocre life when greatness can be in your future?

16. Keep a healthy body.

Without a healthy body it becomes evermore difficult to maintain a healthy mind.

17. Spend your money only on things that will propel your dream.

Cars, “things”, are only good for boosting your image in an effort to impress people who you really don’t want to impress. Spend money, instead, on your own development and your business to fuel your growth.

18. Make a sacrifice.

Get in the habit of sacrificing things that you may like in your life, for things that will help you become a success. The road to greatness isn’t one of excess spending and easy living. Hustle. Focus. Sacrifice. Succeed.

19. Review your journals every month.

A journal can bring you clarity when you write in it, but it’s far more powerful when you get in the habit of reviewing it.

20. Write down 3 things you’re thankful for every day.

What you’ll find is that success is often in your midst if you look at it from the right perspective. And study after study has shown that happy people achieve far greater things than pessimistic, unhappy individuals. This habit, combined with hard work, is as simple a recipe for success as you can create. It’s also an effective one.

2015 Attack every day

Make 2015 your year!

41 days in 2014

Well we are 41 days into 2014.  How are your goals coming along?

Some updates I am currently on day 8 of my water fast.  Have lost 15 pounds thus far, but more importantly I have had the will power to stick with it.  I am now debating on trying a 30-60 day juice fast like Joe Cross from Fat, Sick and almost dead.

Have you decided on something to accomplish yet this year?  I have three main goals this year.  I will share them one by one in the near future!

Continued blessings & success!

2014 here we go!

2014 is here and I am writing this while my son and I watch Baylor (his new favorite team) play Central Florida in the Fiesta Bowl.  

The question for all of us at the beginning of every year is What do you want and what do you want to accomplish? But the most important part of this question is why do you want whatever you want.

I want to be healthier, richer, smarter, stronger, faster, etc are all great goals but why do you want them and if they were really that important to you why haven't you been working on those goals and objectives already.

For this year start with 10 goals, then reduce it to 5, then 3, then think about the one goal left that would have the most beneficial impact on your life.  Then concentrate on that one goal everyday.  Think, pray and work on it daily.  

Then February 1st let's reevaluate your situation.

Looking forward to 2014

I just finished my first semester as a high school teacher and coach.  Man, what a change from being a college head coach for the past 7 years.  I am teaching Algebra I, Algebra II and Geometry.  Luckily I have a degree in Civil Engineering so the Math isn't very difficult to teach.  I am enjoying my time in South Florida and am looking forward to whatever the Lord brings us in 2014!

Florida

Our family was able to move to West Palm Beach Florida this summer!  My wife and I were both able to find employment at The King's Academy.  We are adjusting to the change and the kids really love South Florida.  Don't really know what's next for the Allen Family,.  All I really know is we need to enjoy our time together as a family. God is good!